When Grief Hits


Dear Friend,

Another memory triggered pain in my chest and threatened tears to spill. I didn’t will myself to think of it, yet it comes by itself, vivid and hard.

It was bricks beating my forehead; it was a snake tightening itself around my head, squeezing ’til I struggle to do a simple task. It continued each day for a week. During this period, words stopped flowing as I built a barrier to hold the triggers and tears at bay. The Conductor told me no, that I must release. He reminded me He cried too when Lazarus died.

“Jesus wept.”

John 11:35 KJV

I gave in. The barrier broke.

A river of memories inundated my mind while pain ripped my chest and tears overflowed. I clung unto Him, begging Him to pull me out of this pit. Then gradually, sorrow turned sweet. My fingers slowly formed words and sentences; this process alleviated the impact from the snake and bricks. I talked with friends, releasing more tension.

The river trickled into drops of water. When it dripped, I tasted honey. Then I found myself embraced by His grace.

Very Sincerely Yours,
Clarissa Choo-Choo Train


Clarissa is a vessel used for Christ’s glory. Although she’d lived in four countries, Heaven is her only Home. She desires to sow His seeds, and to serve third culture kids, teens, and writers. Peek into her Christian TCK Email Ministry. Or read more posts.

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