Another memory triggered pain in my chest and threatened tears to spill. I didn’t will myself to think of it, yet it comes by itself, vivid and hard.
It was bricks beating my forehead; it was a snake tightening itself around my head, squeezing ’til I struggle to do a simple task. It continued each day for a week. During this period, words stopped flowing as I built a barrier to hold the triggers and tears at bay. The Conductor told me no, that I must release. He reminded me He cried too when Lazarus died.
John 11:35 KJV
I gave in. The barrier broke.
A river of memories inundated my mind while pain ripped my chest and tears overflowed. I clung unto Him, begging Him to pull me out of this pit. Then gradually, sorrow turned sweet. My fingers slowly formed words and sentences; this process alleviated the impact from the snake and bricks. I talked with friends, releasing more tension.
The river trickled into drops of water. When it dripped, I tasted honey. Then I found myself embraced by His grace.
Very Sincerely Yours,
Clarissa Choo-Choo Train